Tonight, I sat in Aidan's room and sang him the "Night Night" song. It goes something like... Night Night Aidan. Night Night Aidan. Night Night Aidan it's time to go to sleep...and you repeat it for all the members of your family.
Maybe because it was the first time I sat down today, but I noticed that I was sitting in his rocking chair. I received this rocking chair as a baby shower gift from Jim's parents, while I was expecting Aidan. It was a beautiful chair, probably the nicest thing in our apartment. I sat in it while waiting for labor to start and imagined how life would be once I had a baby in my arms to rock.
Aidan was born 9 years ago on July 1, 1998 at 2:55am. He didn't come easily. After 6 weeks of pre-ecclampsia, 4 weeks of bedrest, 3 failed labor inductions and 1 emergency c-section- God gave me a gift. My first born son.
I spent so much time in that rocking chair. Rocking, rocking, rocking that little baby. I couldn't imagine life getting any better. The first year of his life was one of the best I've ever had. We rocked through sleepless nights, first ear infections, days he looked too cute to put down, first teeth, and just because.
I rocked him the day he was diagnosed with autism. I rocked him the day I came home with Molly, 5 weeks later. I rocked him to sleep his first night in upstate NY and we rocked again when everything was packed to move again, only a year later. When he was four I sang his song, but he was in his bed this time and Rory in my arms. I remember Jim packing the rocking chair to move it, once again. He asked, "Can we put this away? He's past that stage." I replied, "Not yet Jim. I'm not ready to be past that stage yet." He nodded and I think he understood but I felt a little silly not being able to let go.
The chair has moved to 5 different places since our first apartment. I have always kept it in Aidan's room. I've brought other babies home and I've even rocked them in it but it's always been Aidan's rocking chair. I still sing the same song, except there are a few more names added to it. I feel safe and secure and completely at peace when I'm in it. I sit and rock and feel completely overwhelmed with gratitude for the blessed life I have. I sit and think that my life is so much more wonderful than I ever could have dreamed. I remember 9 years ago rocking in that chair picturing my life once I had someone to rock and imagining how wonderful life would be. It's more than I had hoped for.
OMG.. you should write children's books.. you are such and author and great writer... food for thought for the future.. loved this page... yes I am crying... isn't there a 'pill' for that... see you soon...xoxo Mic
Posted by: Michele | June 30, 2007 at 10:54 AM